Are ‘Face Card’ Comparisons Damaging Your Teen’s Self-Esteem? The Indicators to Watch For

Each technology of fogeys has handled the troublesome job of navigating teen slang. It may possibly grow to be downright baffling making an attempt to decipher the that means behind what your children are saying. Take as an illustration the newest phrase—’face card’—which is making the rounds on social media. This phrase, which is commonly used to reference somebody’s bodily look, has probably the most slang-savvy mother and father questioning if teenagers on the lookout for and receiving enter on their face card is admittedly all that wholesome. 

That will help you navigate this probably risky scenario, we requested psychological well being specialists to supply perception into the time period face card— what it means, the place it originated, how teenagers are utilizing it, and, most significantly, how one can offset any poisonous messages which may hurt your teen’s shallowness.

What Does ‘Face Card’ Imply?

The time period face card probably originates in each African American Vernacular English (AAVE) and queer tradition, with important overlap between these communities, says Rebecca Minor, MSW, LICSW, a licensed scientific social employee, gender specialist, and part-time school member at Boston College Faculty of Social Work. “In queer slang, face card refers to somebody’s face or look, just like the time period ‘mug.’ For instance, saying somebody’s ‘face card by no means declines’ would imply their face is all the time gorgeous.”

Minor says the metaphor compares an individual’s face to a kind of forex or bank card, suggesting their appears to be like alone can open doorways or get them what they need while not having money or credit score. 

Lately, Minor says face card has gained broader utilization on-line, just like different AAVE phrases which were adopted by mainstream web tradition. “It is now generally used to explain somebody who is very engaging and may leverage their look to their benefit.”

How Are Teenagers Utilizing the Phrase ‘Face Card?’

Teenagers use the phrase face card totally on social media platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat to touch upon magnificence, self-confidence, or social clout. Minor says the phrases can be utilized humorously or complementarily, with phrases like: 

• “Her face card is elite.”
• “His face card by no means declines.”
• “Her face card has limitless credit score.”
• “That face card is accepted worldwide.”

“Teenagers may additionally publish selfies or movies with captions referencing their ‘face card,’ inviting validation from their friends,” says Minor. “Nonetheless, the phrase can be used competitively or critically, as a method of score or evaluating appearances. For instance, feedback like “Face card declined“ are used to insult or disgrace somebody’s appears to be like, contributing to the stress to satisfy social magnificence requirements.”

How Can “Face Card” Feedback Impression Self Esteem?

In line with Minor, the phrase face card creates a high-stakes, appearance-focused social forex. And, in case your teen looks like their face card has been declined somewhat than accepted it could create a lot of adverse penalties like physique picture points, elevated anxiousness or melancholy, perceived inadequacy, and a heightened dependency on exterior validation, says Minor.

Social media, and the multitude of tendencies that infiltrate the typical teen’s feeds, could disrupt the formation of a wholesome shallowness by feeding them data that damages their self-image. In truth, in 2021 paperwork had been leaked from an Instagram research that exposed about one out of three teen ladies felt worse about their our bodies after utilizing the app, and so did about 14% of boys. 

With tendencies like face card these outcomes aren’t shocking. Whereas the phrase may be playful or celebratory amongst friends, and even enhance self-worth, it additionally reinforces a deal with bodily look and may inadvertently prioritize exterior validation over intrinsic qualities, says Minor. 

How Do Teenagers Really feel When Friends “Decline” Their Face Card?

For teenagers, peer acceptance performs a important position in self-identity, says Isha W. Metzger, PhD, LCP, an affiliate professor of Medical-Group Psychology at Georgia State College and an adjunct school member within the Psychology Division on the College of Georgia. “When a teen feels their face card doesn’t measure as much as their friends’ requirements, it could result in emotions of rejection and disgrace.”

Social media platforms gas this dynamic by selling extremely curated and filtered photographs of magnificence, says Dr. Metzger. “Teenagers are uncovered to influencers and friends who seem to effortlessly meet societal beliefs, typically with out understanding how synthetic these portrayals may be.”

Finally, being judged and scrutinized for one’s look takes a toll on one’s psychological well being, particularly in case your baby is already emotionally fragile or susceptible, says Tamr Z. Kahane, PysD, a licensed scientific psychologist, founder, and scientific director of The Kahane Middle, LLC. “It may possibly gas disordered consuming, anxiousness, melancholy, and extra.”

The best way to Discuss to Your Teen About Utilizing the Phrase “Face Card”

When you discover that your teen is utilizing the time period face card both in individual or on-line, it’s vital to open up a dialogue about it and use it as a educating second. Dr. Metzger suggests beginning a dialog by saying: “I’ve seen folks speaking about ‘face playing cards’ on-line—what do you consider that?” 

This opens the door for dialogue and offers teenagers the possibility to share their perspective, she says. “Dad and mom can also emphasize that true magnificence is multidimensional, reflecting an individual’s character, abilities, and authenticity. This helps shift the main focus from bodily look to extra substantive qualities.”

It’s additionally vital to take heed to what your teen has to say and invite them to share their perspective on the phrase and the way it has impacted them. After all, if they don’t have quite a bit to say, know that they nonetheless admire your enter—even when they do roll their eyes. In truth, analysis exhibits that teenagers worth their mother and father’ enter over others. They depend on you to allow them to know the foundations of society and even what wholesome sexuality appears to be like like.

Listed below are another suggestions for addressing “face playing cards’ along with your teenagers. Dr. Metzger suggests you:

• Promote media literacy: Train your teen to critically assess the content material they see on-line, emphasizing the position of modifying, filters, and algorithms in shaping perceptions of magnificence.
• Encourage various definitions of magnificence: Expose your teen to representations of magnificence throughout numerous cultures, pores and skin tones, physique varieties, and talents.
• Have a good time particular person strengths: Assist your teen discover worth of their distinctive qualities, whether or not it’s their humorousness, creativity, or compassion.
• Mannequin wholesome self-talk: Keep away from self-deprecating feedback about look and as a substitute mannequin self-confidence and self-acceptance.
• Create boundaries: Encourage breaks from social media to scale back the stress of comparability and foster extra genuine connections.

What Can Dad and mom Do to Offset Dangerous Social Media Messages?

Most specialists suggest complimenting your teen about one thing apart from their appears to be like. As an alternative, shift the main focus to their non-physical traits and achievements with the purpose of constructing a well-rounded shallowness, suggests Minor. 

You can also offset these messages by fostering a self-image the place your children admire themselves not for his or her appears to be like or their social media profile however somewhat for his or her genuine self, says Sean O’Neill, LMFT, a licensed marriage and household therapist and scientific director of Maple Moon Restoration. You additionally ought to monitor and agree on sure guidelines relating to social media in addition to encourage actions that construct confidence by achievement in sports activities, artwork, or different topics, he says. 

“Have lively discussions relating to self-worth and physique picture by bearing in mind the truth that look isn’t the one worth,” he says. “Persuade [your] teen that different points of an individual’s life are higher valuation instruments.”