“Will Santa go to each locations?” my six-year-old daughter Vivian requested, with concern in her eyes. After assuring her that Santa visits each of her properties, it actually sunk in: sharing time with my youngsters after my divorce means maintaining the magic of Christmas alive when it seems to be completely completely different.
Final yr was the primary Christmas after my divorce however our children had been with me. This yr would be the first time I don’t see the children operating to the tree on the daybreak; as an alternative they’ll go to me and open the remainder of their items after time with their dad. Not less than by then I can be caffeinated.
Associated story
Hilary Duff’s Magical Christmas Residence Movies With Her 4 Children Have Followers Begging for One Factor
One of the troublesome elements about sharing time along with your youngsters is accepting the sensation of grief over lacking them and shielding it off freely. This yr, to ease my thoughts from dwelling on what gained’t occur on Christmas, I’m making an attempt to concentrate on creating new traditions to face up to annually, whether or not or not my youngsters are with me vivid and early on Christmas morning.
The tree continues to be a piece in progress. Understanding I might have one much less week with my youngsters earlier than Christmas, it went up sooner than final yr after I first purchased the substitute 7-and-a-half foot tree, a slim Virginia Pine with clear lights. It was bought after dreaming of an actual tree, however the concept of dragging one up two flights of stairs on my own didn’t evoke a jolly feeling, so I opted for a synthetic one, packaged in a field and delivered proper to my door.
Throughout my lunch break at my distant job, I arrange the three elements that stick collectively and flattened out the bendable branches. It was good. Final yr we went fundamental and the children and I hung up red-white-and-silver ornaments of varied shapes and fairly angels from a pack of 40. This yr, we added basketball balls and snowman ornaments, together with wood decorations with our names carved into them, from my mother.
The sight of the tree aglow, even and not using a ornamental tree skirt, made the stress of selecting up life and beginning once more instantly much less intense.
The factor is, persevering with on after divorce can imply that vacation traditions get left behind for the sake of a recent begin. Final yr, I had ordered new stockings with my youngsters’ names on them and two snow globes, one thing particular to make the house really feel festive. This yr, I’m planning to present the children new nutcrackers to show or play with. Possibly subsequent yr we’ll get a wreath or, I inform my son, possibly a distant management prepare set to journey across the tree.
This time of yr additionally brings a longing to see my mom, my sister, and my nieces, and share a meal or bake cookies collectively. It gained’t be attainable although — not each household will get to share time collectively in individual over the vacations, generally the gap and expense are each out of attain, and telephone calls are made, packages are despatched, and textual content messages with images are swapped. Not having my rapid household close by is extra cause to incorporate Italian cookies within the brunch I’m making ready on Christmas morning with my youngsters.
Whereas my youngsters are shuffled from house to house this Christmas, a brand new ritual can have begun. To battle my disappointment for waking up with out their little ft operating to the lounge at daybreak, I’m planning a particular meal for the kiddos to take pleasure in after we open items. I’m a wreck within the kitchen, sometimes maintaining issues easy, however this yr they’ll embellish their pancakes with sprinkles and different toppings and drink scorching cocoa. We will even dip pretzels and fruit into melted chocolate, a practice began by my mother and father.
And if all of it burns, I’ll have some frozen waffles prepared.
I bear in mind my mother’s fingers pink with meals coloring from making sweet cane cookies throughout my childhood and the arrival calendar bringing pleasure to the countdown to Christmas morning. I take a look at our Christmas tree remembering that the yr earlier than my mother and father separated, Santa introduced me a gorgeous doll with blue eyeshadow and blush on her cheeks. Once I used a washcloth, I might take away the make-up after which it could seem once more after the doll’s face dried and it was magic to my younger eyes. I held the doll shut, realizing love was throughout me. It’s the identical feeling of pleasure I anticipate experiencing after I open the door and my youngsters arrive to open items this yr.
Some traditions stay intact irrespective of the mother and father’ schedule. Santa comes irrespective of the place my youngsters get up on Christmas morning, and this yr can be extra significant than ever. Particularly once they see that Santa nonetheless drank the milk on the desk and left half a cookie behind, only for their wishful eyes to see.
