FIRST GAY EXPERIENCES STORIES
On the lookout for first homosexual experiences tales? In that case, you wouldn’t be alone. In keeping with scientific analysis, one thing like 7-8% of males who determine as heterosexual has had some sort of similar sex-experience.
Whereas many web sites are inclined to eroticize such encounters, few supply first hand, true tales of those homosexual experiences. Given curiosity on this subject, we thought it may be useful to share a few of these with readers.
Beneath is a podcast (E17) that options an e mail from a listener who identifies as straight however lately discovered himself attracted to a different man at his gymnasium. From The Males’s Self-Assist Podcast.
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STRAIGHT MEN SHARE TRUE FIRST GAY EXPERIENCES
What follows are 25 first homosexual experiences tales as informed by males who determine as straight. To collect their narratives, we requested the Man Counseling neighborhood to return ahead and share.
First names are used to guard their identities. Our hope is to assist males who’re making an attempt to return to phrases with their sexuality. Bear in mind, orientation just isn’t at all times black or white.
You’ll want to take our ballot on the finish of this submit.
1. AFTER A FEW DRINKS
“I used to be 21-years outdated and spent a lot of the summer season working development to make more money for school. On the job, I acquired to know one of many guys [Mike] who was somewhat older than me. Like 25?
One Friday after work, a bunch of us stopped by an area watering gap to tie just a few on. On the finish of the evening, Mike invited me again to his place to relax.
I don’t bear in mind the entire particulars, however we ended up watching a film and firing up some 420. The following factor I knew, we had been happening on one another.
It solely occurred as soon as, and we by no means talked about it once more.”
-Nick/38 Straight Man
2. MARINE BOOT CAMP
“I’ve at all times been interested in ladies and by no means had an expertise with one other man – though I had considered it. However that modified throughout my time in boot camp after becoming a member of the Marines.
There was a man who was about my age (22) who I used to be unusually interested in. Unsure if it was his construct or what however I simply I simply know that I favored him.
Simply earlier than commencement, we ended up hooking up off-base. Unsure the way to clarify the dynamics. Yeah, we had been ingesting however we weren’t sloshed. What’s bizarre is that we ended up doing it two extra instances. I’m married now and so is he. We’re nonetheless mates on Fb.”
-Rick/32 Heterosexual Male
3. COLLEGE DORM BUDDIES
“It was just a few days simply earlier than Thanksgiving and everybody had left campus to go house for the vacation, apart from me and two different dudes staying within the dorms.
Feeling bored, the three of us determined to hang around in my room and play poker. One of many two dudes was out on campus. He provided to go down on me and the opposite man as a guess. We thought he was joking however discovered later he wasn’t.
Yep – he made good on his wager.
It was the primary time I had ever skilled one thing with one other man. It was additionally my final however I don’t remorse it.”
-Chris/37 Married Straight Man
4. SCOTCH HOOK UP
“I had a buddy in faculty who was homosexual however within the closet. One evening we had been ingesting scotch at his place and he confessed he had been crushing on me for a very long time.
One factor led to a different and we ended up making out. Later, we traded some oral motion. Solely occurred as soon as as a result of it acquired bizarre afterward. Unsure why.”
-Dennis/39 Identifies as straight
5. CAMPING IN WISCONSIN
“Once I was 25-years outdated, I took my little brothers on a tenting journey to the Northern woods of Wisconsin. We had been making the trek from Chicago for years however after our dad handed away, we determined to maintain the custom going.
Whereas we had been staying at a state campground, one of many park rangers got here by our tenting space to warn us of pending extreme climate. I believe the man was round 30 years outdated?
We began speaking and I acquired the sense he was concerned with me. I’ve by no means been interested in different males, however there was simply one thing about him that I favored. Exhausting to clarify. Possibly it was his cologne?
Simply earlier than we left, he stopped by our camp and mentioned he’d be visiting Chicago the subsequent weekend. Once I gave him my quantity, I knew precisely what I used to be doing.
Certain sufficient, when he arrived on the town, he known as. I ended up going to his resort and we ended up getting it on. Nothing severe. He went down on me and I tried doing the identical however wasn’t excellent at it.
After that occurred, I by no means heard from him once more. Does this imply I’m homosexual? I don’t suppose so. I believe labels do extra hurt than good.”
-Ken/34 Says he’s straight
6. BUILDING SECURITY GUARDS
“I’m a constructing safety guard on the East Coast. Two years in the past, one other man who was my age was placed on the night-shift. While you work that shift, it’s very quiet. To go time, we made small discuss and gossiped about folks within the constructing.
One weekend round 2 or 3 within the morning, we had been tremendous bored and began speaking about our hookup experiences. I don’t know what occurred, however it should have gotten us each horned.
We ended swapping head in a utility room. It occurred just a few extra instances that summer season – to the purpose the place all one among us must do is say ‘utility room’ and the opposite man knew what time it was.
When summer season was over, he acquired transferred to a different constructing. Not going to say I didn’t take pleasure in it and I do know he favored it too.”
-Pedro/32 Married with children
7. ONE YEAR PRISON STINT
“Once I was 25-years outdated, I used to be sentenced to jail for 5 years on a drug-related cost. Ultimately, I solely ended up spending a yr in jail.
Throughout that point, I connected a number of instances with just a few of the inmates. It occurs greater than folks suppose and never as a result of straight guys are compelled into it.
In my case it was mutual. To me, I used to be merely getting my wants met – similar to the opposite guys doing time. Do labels actually apply if you find yourself doing time?”
-Enrique/38 Straight man
8. DAIRY CASE AT GROCERY STORE
“The summer season after graduating highschool, I took a job at a job at my native grocery retailer within the dairy division. You already know, like stocking milk, cheese, and eggs. The work sucked and didn’t pay all that nice, however I wanted the money for books.
There was one other man (Sam) who labored within the Deli that was round my age that appeared cool. Once in a while, we’d run into one another and speak about sports activities and the way the Packers had been going to make it to Tremendous Bowl.
One weekend I used to be alone within the dairy case, unloading expired milk from behind the casing and ready for the truck to ship the brand new stuff. That’s when Sam got here to make small discuss.
I don’t bear in mind the entire particulars, however I do know in some unspecified time in the future I noticed him popping wooden below his work khakis. All I can inform you is that I used to be impressed.
We ended up j-rking collectively within the meat freezer. The entire thing was over in lower than 10-minutes (if that). After that, we did extra stuff however not within the retailer.”
-Trevor/41 Largely hetero
9. FOOTBALL TEAM
“Once I was in faculty, I performed soccer. Not that I used to be something to speak about as a result of I principally sat on the bench. However there was a first-string dude that I used to be buddies with the place issues used to occur.
It was by no means like we deliberate it or something. Generally he’d go by room [dorm] and say hiya. One time, he confirmed as much as shoot the $hit – you realize, like to hang around.
I bear in mind telling him my shoulder was tousled from a nasty play and he provided to therapeutic massage it to calm down the muscle. That’s once I felt his stiffy in opposition to me by way of his sweats.
After that, the remaining is historical past. We ended up messing round. Over the course of a yr, it occurred just a few instances. The dude is married now and so am I. To me, it doesn’t imply you’re homosexual should you experiment.”
-Ronnie/39 Dwelling straight life
10. STEAM ROOM AT GYM
“There was just one time the place I ever acquired it on with one other dude and that occurred at my gymnasium, round 10-years in the past. The reality is, I had at all times needed to know what it was like so not going to lie.
I suppose that’s the reason I let this random man do his factor on me. Yeah, it was cool. Unsure I’d do it once more however at the least I can say I had a primary homosexual expertise.”
-Mitch/36 Straight dude
11. FIRST GAY EXPERIENCE CABBY
“I used to drive a Checker cab in Chicago again within the early 2000’s, once I was in my 20’s. Everybody knew the cash was good in Boystown so a lot of the cabbies tried to seize fares on weekends by the bars.
One time, I picked up a trip by a man who needed a carry downtown. On the best way, he pulled out a leather-based pockets and provided me me $300.00 to look at me j-rk. Once I informed him no, he upped it to $350, I informed him I used to be down.
Quickest cash I ever made. Don’t remorse it both.”
-Ricky/40-One thing Straight man
12. GIRLFRIEND’S BROTHER
“Once I was again in highschool, I dated this lady from my neighborhood. She had a brother who was the identical age as me and we grew to become mates.
One time whereas we had been hanging out, he shared with me that he was bi. He requested me if I had ever been with one other man and I informed him the reality – by no means.
Don’t ask me why however we began playing around. I suppose there was part of me that was curious. The bizarre factor is the lady and I by no means messed round – not even as soon as.
I don’t take into account myself homosexual and even bi. Again then, I believe I used to be simply figuring issues out and he was any individual to try this with.”
-Frank/28 Just about straight
13. BELLMAN AT HOTEL
“Once I was 19-years outdated, I labored at a resort as a bellman. Continuously, male company had me deliver up their baggage.
Not less than 5 instances, I ended up staying somewhat additional. It was at all times for an enormous tip. The very best half was I didn’t should do something besides pull my pants down and allow them to do their factor.
When you’re younger and broke, you’ll do something for cash. I’m married now with children and don’t take into account myself homosexual.”
-Nick 33 Says he’s hetero
14. BACKDOOR ACTION TIME
“Again in faculty, there was a man that I used to get with for oral stuff. Sooner or later, he requested me if I’d ever need to do extra. At first, I used to be hesitant as a result of it appeared like that might be drawing a line, you realize?
However he was persistent, and I admit I used to be curious. Lengthy story brief, it occurred. I can’t say I didn’t prefer it as a result of I did. However we solely did it just a few instances.”
-Kenny 38 Largely hetero
15. 420 TIME WITH BUDDY
“It occurred just a few instances. A neighbor and I used to get collectively and smoke. Plenty of what occurred is fuzzy so I don’t bear in mind all the small print. However I do bear in mind we did issues.”
-Brian/39 Fuzzy straight
16. HOOKUP APP ENCOUNTER
“I went onto a well-liked hookup app to see what I might discover. Unsure the way it occurred however I ended up tapping on a filter that put me in a same-sex class. I ultimately acquired out of it however it was too late, I used to be already listed within the homosexual space.
About an hour into it, a man reached out to me and mentioned he was simply trying to give oral. As a result of I wasn’t having a lot luck in straightsville, I figured why not. There has at all times been part of me who was curious, so I figured WTF not, you realize?
To maintain it actual, I’ve acquired to say that I loved myself. However as soon as I acquired it out of my system, I’ve actually by no means had any want to do it once more. I suppose it’s all a part of rising older.”
-Bruce 33/Decidedly straight
17. FIRE DEPARTMENT PROBIE
“Once I was a probie [probation) with the Fire Department, there was another guy assigned to our firehouse, going through the ranks with me.
Both of us became pretty tight, which is what you would expect given how F-ing awful they treat you. We used to hang out a lot and I guess we bonded.
I’m not going to go so far as to say we were boyfriends because we weren’t. But when we weren’t at work, we did make out a few times and more. I was bumped when he got transferred a year after making it through probation.”
-Mark/36 Totally hetero
18. BASEBALL PRACTICE FIRST GAY EXPERIENCE
“When I was 19, I used to play ball in our neighborhood league. A lot of the guys did because there wasn’t anything else going on in the suburbs.
There was this one guy I used to get with after practice. It just sort of happened. The weird thing is we never talked about it. From time to time, we would end up in my garage when my parents weren’t home and mess around. We were both curious I guess.”
Bobby/33 Straight male
19. FIRST GAY EXPERIENCES WITH COUSIN
“When I was 18-years old, my cousin Nick stopped by our family’s house. We were living in Iowa and he was driving from New Jersey to California for a new job.
He ended up staying in my room during his visit. He was a little older than me but not by much (21?). I remember him undressing and noticing how much bigger he was than me.
He must have caught me eyeing him because he laughed about it. Then, on the next night of his stay, he purposely made sure I saw it again. The rest is history. I was curious and strangely attracted to him. Only happened once and it is not something we’ve ever talked about.”
-Doug/Hetro with a secret
20. WATCHED GUYS IN THE ARMY
“I never really did something with another guy but I did use to watch two dudes I served with [in the military] fiddle within the woods.
They at all times thought they had been being personal, however I’d see them doing issues so much. The truth that I watched tells you one thing.
-Curtis/39 Hetero male
21. NEIGHBOR HOOK UP
“I’m probably not ashamed that I used to hook up with my neighbor from my teen-years. I guess numerous guys have had homosexual experiences and they’re simply too hen to speak about it.”
-Kelly/38 Says he straight
22. MOVIE THEATER BREAK
“A number of years in the past, I went to a film with a few buddies and midway by way of the movie, wanted to make use of the lads’s room. That’s once I noticed a man touching himself in a urinal subsequent to me.
It’s arduous for me to clarify however it actually turned me on, so I joined him. Briefly, we each reached out and touched each other. If it lasted greater than 15 seconds I’d be shocked. That’s the closest I’ve ever come to one thing with one other dude. I believe that qualifies as my first homosexual expertise. Will it ever occur once more?”
-Ryan/35 Clinging to straight
23. BOARDING SCHOOL GAY HOOKUP
“Throughout my highschool years, I went to a army boarding faculty. The setup was three guys to a dorm. I grew to become mates with one of many guys I bunked with named Dale.
On some random fall weekend, it was simply me and Dale in our room whereas the opposite roommate went again house on go away. That’s when me and Dale began speaking about 69 and what that may be like. One factor led to a different and the subsequent factor I knew we had been really doing it – in the midst of the ground – of our dorm.
For the rest of the varsity yr, we connected A LOT in numerous locations. Oddly sufficient, we stayed in contact after commencement and nonetheless discuss to this present day. However we by no means talk about our senior yr in class. Is that how bromances work?”
-Nathan/29 Now married with two children
24. CURIOUS WORKOUT NEIGHBOR
“I should have been all of 21-years outdated once I had my first homosexual expertise. There was a neighbor dude I used to carry weights with in his storage. He had a kind of Joe Weider flat benches, which again then was type of an enormous deal.
Over the course of time, we acquired nearer and nearer. Sooner or later he reached out and touched me and I didn’t cease him. It didn’t take lengthy earlier than we each began doing issues to at least one one other on that bench. We in all probability connected half a dozen instances.
The entire thing ended once I joined the Military and acquired deployed. He has lengthy since moved some place else together with his household. Enjoyable instances. However that was years in the past. I’ve by no means carried out something like that since.”
-Eric/31 Male Heterosexual
25. MUSCLE CAR ENCOUNTER
“Once I was 30-years outdated, I purchased a 1968 Ford Thunderbird. Muscle vehicles have at all times been my factor, and this was my dream automobile. However this automobile wanted numerous work, so I used to contract with a mechanic who specialised in older fashions.
The dude was round my age and we used to speak so much about vehicles, sports activities, and the standard stuff that guys do. It’s a part of the rationale we grew to become quick mates.
One weekend, after doing a little work on my automobile, we took it out for a check drive. All I can inform you is that whereas we had been on the highway, we pulled off right into a truck cease. That’s once we swapped head within the parking zone.
I doubt he would determine as homosexual as a result of he was married with somewhat child on the time. I’m fairly positive we had been each simply tremendous curious. Solely occurred as soon as. I nonetheless know the dude.”
-Vincent 37/Straight and residing by bro-code
FIRST GAY EXPERIENCES HAPPEN MORE THAN YOU THINK
In studying the numerous first homosexual experiences tales shared on this web page, you will need to do not forget that in some unspecified time in the future, most males who determine as straight have had some sort of homosexual expertise. I’m mentioning this as a result of many individuals cling to labels that don’t at all times precisely signify an individual’s reality.
In case you are a straight man studying this piece, you in all probability can bear in mind some sort of similar intercourse expertise you had with one other man over the course of your life. The query is – would you ever speak about it? If not, why? Are you afraid that somebody may suppose you’re homosexual?
Meals for thought.
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References
Twenge, J.M., Sherman, R.A. & Wells, B.E. Arch Intercourse Behav (2016) 45: 1713. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-016-0769-4
